Hidan and Kakuzu raise Harry Potter idea
by ReiTsukihana
Summary: What it says on the tin. Look inside.
1. Chapter 1

Hidan and Kakuzu raise harry potter idea

Here's the summary of the idea,

Kakuzu slips off one of his hearts during the edo tensei attaches himself to another body.  
The body is small so he goes back to where Hidan's buried and digs him up.  
Hidan is more crazy then usual but is really grateful to Kakuzu for rescuing him though he'll never ever admit it. They start traveling together with the though they'd split after Kakuzu find another body. Only once Kakuzu finds said body they'd become to dependent on each others ability to stop their nightmares to separate. Though they insist that its only because its more beneficial to stay together then to split. So they stick together. Eventually they fall beck into their original rhythm of bounty hunting with the occasional off course religious fiasco.

Mean while 5 or 6 year old harry is locked in a cupboard and wishing. He wishes for 3 things.  
-To be away from the Dursleys  
-To find someone who will protect him forever and not die on him like his parents.  
-To become strong enough to defend himself and deal with his pain  
His magic grants his wishes

Hidan and Kakuzu are camping out after a successful bounty-hunt. Hidan is complaining about Kakuzu being a boring, stingy atheist and begins preying to Jashin-sama for something to do. A sign of what task Jashin will set for him so he can do something other then "Fucking shit ass annoying repetitive bounty hunts."

Thus just as Kakuzu is about to decapitate Hidan one very bruised but rapidly healing Harry potter falls into Hidan's lap. Literally. Hidan of course ,after getting over his shock, takes this as a sign from Jashin. This obviously powerful child, it just teleported if loudly and has apparent healing powers, must be a potential follower of Jashin. What's more entertaining then an apprentice?  
Kakuzu of course doesn't see it this way and starts musing on ways to sell Harry. Hidan chucks a massive fit and swears that if Kakuzu tries to remove Jashin's newest follower from Hidan then Hidan will annoy Kakuzu for the rest of his immortal existence. Kakuzu reluctantly agrees to let Hidan keep the 'spawn' as long as he takes care of it himself, finds a place for it on bounty hunts and keeps it far far away from Kakuzu.

Hidan of course performs the immortality justsu on harry. Which works. Which Hidan takes of confirmation of Jashin's desires. Thus Hidan begins to teach harry the religion of Jashin. Only one problem...Hidan and Harry speak different languages. Also Kakuzu is now stuck with two immortal children and is basically thinking FML.

Harry begins to quickly pick up the language and the shinobi arts that are taught to him. Harry as per his time at the Dursleys tries to make himself useful and thus cooks and cleans whenever he can. He also tries as hard as he can to learn from both Hidan and Kakuzu. Though only Hidan pays consistent attention to him Kakuzu tends to ignores him. Hidan tries his best to fulfill Jashin-sama's wishes and turn the malleable harry into a devout follower of Jashin. Kakuzu however sabotages his efforts whenever possible "I'm already stuck with one loud, stupid, reckless arrogant immortal child I'm not dealing with another." Also it pisses Hidan off.

Kakuzu only begin to take interest in harry when harry has his first bout of accidental magic stopping a storm of kunai and launching them back at his opponent. A talent which looks remarkably similar to the deva path of the Rinnegan . But as they come to discover the power that harry used is not in fact chakra. Making Kakuzu interested and Hidan thrilled. So Kakuzu begins trying to find out what it is and find ways to make that power useful for money making. Also has the side effect of Kakuzu trying to sway harry to the lure and dependability of money. After all the more harry cares about money the less things that Kakuzu has to pay for.

So harry grows up being dragged around the elemental nations by two high class criminals after bounties and religious quests. He never stays in one place long and most of his time is spent camping outside or in really cheap hotels. He is taught that violence is completely fine and expected. That pain in all of its forms are beautiful and are to be shared. He learns that might controls everything and without strength he cannot protect anything let alone himself.

At first this is distressing to harry after his time with the Dursleys. He is scared of the violence and the completely opposing expectations. He is no longer a 'freak' among 'normal' people. But then the ones who picked him up are freaks too so maybe this is just how things are around his 'own kind'. He kind of understands why his 'family' were so scared of the freaks after all Hidan-shisho and Kakuzu-sama are scary people. But that's ok because their teaching him how to be scary too. The better he gets at fighting and killing the more useful he is to them. Harry also gets used as bait occasionally during their various bounty hunts. Thus leading to more accidental magic.

Under Hidan's teachings harry grows to accept and even enjoy the pain he once hated and feared. Though Kakuzu makes sure to curb his more reckless tendencies. Its hard enough making sure Hidan doesn't do anything too stupid. This of course leads to many fights between Kakuzu and Hidan.  
Eventually harry comes to perceive certain forms of violence as a kind of affectionate communication.  
Hidan attacks Kakuzu to get his attention and Kakuzu 'kills' Hidan to try to curb his recklessness and keep him out of trouble. Basically violence whether physical or verbal is how they show they care.  
"Pain is Jashin-sama's great gift to the world. It connects all people, affects all classes and all ages. It warns of death and it is though pain that we become stronger. This is the nature of Jashin-sama's gift."

Thus leading harry to begin to question his time at the Dursleys. Was Vernon an abusive ass that deserved a slow death or was he just trying to connect to harry though pain in the way of Jashin-sama and harry had just been too young to realize it? So Harry 'savior' of the wizarding world grows up in a world of blood, pain,corpses, swearing, religion, money and copious amounts of violence. Hogwarts won't know what hit it.

Bonus points for manipulative!Dumbledore. Not evil!Dumbledore and especially not stupid!Dumbledore. Fics where Dumbledore reveals himself too early by stealing Harry's money or sealing his magic while fun often leave Dumbledore with a relationship resembling Snapes one with harry. The brilliance of Dumbledore in the books is that his manipulation was subtle. I'd prefer a Dumbledore that while not evil, certainly disprove of Harry's current guardians and living conditions and is not adverse to using his admittedly vast political power in order to pull a few strings.

Chakra and magic. Chakra is made by mixing physical and spiritual energy inside ones body and then releasing it in the form of jutsu. To use it require both mental power and physical strength. Magic is purely spiritual energy which while not requiring it, is enhanced by having a focus especially one of already magical nature, such as a wand. As such to use magic only requires mental strength.  
To compare the two is like to compare water (magic) to ink (chakra). Charkra is denser and thicker then magic and is as such more powerful. If an equal amount of raw chakra and raw magic collided the chakra would win if barely. However magic is more flexible and thus capable of a greater variety of effects.  
For example: Chakra will never be as strong as pure physical energy like whats seen in say DBZ. (physical energy being the hypothetical ink powder). However the physical energy in DBZ while destructive is not elemental nor could it summon animals, craft illusions or make seals. In a similar way chakra while powerful cannot be used to transfigure a rat into a goblet, turn a cup into a portkey or make a broom fly.

Anyway that's the base of my idea. I look forward to seeing what you can come up with. If you feel like doing this idea just PM me the link and have at. Good luck.


	2. Chapter 2

I"m surprised people actually looked at this. I even got a review. Wow. Anyway I'm just going to keep posting head-cannons as they come to me until someone decides to actually make a story out of this. Edit just checked this. i don't use Word and the format glitched. Hopefuly this fixes it.

**The Hidden continent and how magic came to be.**

Ok. I've seen a lot of versions of how the hidden continents fit in with the rest of the world but this is the one I favor mixed in with my own theories. I'm admittedly not quite up to date on the naruto manga and it has been some time since I've last read the harry potter series so feel free to edit as you please

The hidden continent is located in the Bermuda triangle under a barrier/genjutsu made of seals created by the sage of the six paths. After the sealing of kaguya and the destruction wrought by the tentails the elemental nations were in much chaos and strife. (barrier to contain/protect rest of world)  
Those that wished to have nothing to do with chakra left the elemental nations to live on the other continents with the people that were untouched by kaguya and the sage. However due to the sheer amount of ambient chakra caused by the sage, kaguya and the ten tails these people unknowingly possessed chakra in its dormant form much like the civilians in naruto. As such chakra was passed down to their children.

However because these children did not train their bodies from a young age as shinobi do they never developed strong enough levels of physical energy needed in order to perform jutsu at will. Instead the energy would only manifest in times of extreme emotional duress or life threatening events aka 'accidental magic'. This lead to the users mistakenly believing that the energy is caused by emotions . Those who meditated learnt to control their emotions and focus their minds thus increasing their spiritual energy making them stronger.

Over time the physical aspect of chakra was forgotten completely and instead only the spiritual portion was used thus 'creating' Magic. Initially only those with incredible focus and mental fortitude were able to use magic in a controlled manner. The more knowledge one had about the world the stronger their power, the more imagination one had the more variety of things they could do but only those with proper focus would be able to apply their magic in a constant reliable fashion. Thus leading to the creation of focusing instruments.  
The first of said instruments would have been stones or wood imbued with ancient runes that meant something particular to the caster. The runes serving much the same purpose as hand signs. But after the discovery of magical beings (creatures with large amounts of natural energy much like summons) the first wands and staves were created and imbued with magical cores. The use of a focus with already inherent magical properties boosted both the power and control of magic users. Originally such focuses were used only to help with the more powerful or complicated spells and rituals. however they also allowed otherwise mediocre wizards and witches to perform spells that were previously impossible for them. Gradually as wands and staves became more powerful and refined (and cheaper) they were used more and more often until the knowledge of how to do controlled wandless magic was lost to time. In their eagerness to be powerful wizards and witches used their wands like a crutch, unintentionally crippled themselves

**Causes of Squibs.  
**Due to inbreeding that is designed to increase magical potential at the cost of physical stability squibs  
**A-** have too much spiritual energy to the point it unbalances their physical energy making both unstable.  
**B-** have such sickly/defective bodies that the natural energy of the body spends most all of its energy keeping the body alive. Much like medical chakra works just subconsciously. Thus only allowing small bouts of energy output

**Origin of Muggleborns-**

**A-** descendants of squibs.  
Magic remains dormant in the family line until a point where the physical energy re-balances and stabilizes with the spiritual energy or the body becomes stable enough to not require the energies help in order to  
**B-** exposed to 'magic' while in the womb. If the mother of the child was obliviated or had other spells cast upon them. Or lived close to a magically rich area while pregnant. The ambient spiritual energy may kick-start the unborn child's  
**C-** both.


	3. Chapter 3

As FP NO W brought up in a review this version of harry would need a both reason to got to hogwarts, a reason to stay at hogwarts and a reason not to sacrifice everyone at the school in order for the story to work. I've been brainstorming and these are some of the ideas I came up with

Reasons for going to hogwarts

A-Knowladge-Harry initially goes to hogwarts under the misguided belief that wizards being 'Freaks' are basically forien ninja and therefor have a greater stored knowladge of how to use his magic in order to kill and/or cause pain.(AKA Dark Arts.) His logic being if he can refine his power and learn new fighting skills he will attain unique abilities, much like a bloodline, that will finally make him an equal to Hidan and Kakuzu instead of a child/subordinate.

B-Money- Harry can only inherit and access the money that has been stored in Gringotts if he is recognized as a wizard in the eyes of the Wizarding community. This means that harry must possess a wand. Also to access the full amount instead of just the trust fund he must be of legal wizarding age (17) and be considered proficient with said wand.

C- Conversion-Harry see's the wizarding world as a challenge set by Jashin. It is a whole new world that is already predisposed to mob/sheep herd like behavior. Their government is flawed corrupt and on the verge of collapsing. Better yet they consider him a savior because some 'Dark Lord' screwed up years ago and killed himself. All of which are good elements for the beginning of a cult. If he plays this right he can begin his very own magically powered church of Jashin.

Why fight Voldemort/stay in the Wizarding world (at least for a while)

A-Revenge of a sort-After finding out how Voldemort murdered his parents and tried to murder him. Harry decides to sacrifice Voldemort to Jashin. No because he cares about his parents necessarily (though that is a part of it) but for the principle of the matter. Never let anyone who tried to kill you have a second chance at it.

B-Rivals- Harry meets Voldemort and to be honest he expected more. For a 'Dark Lord' that still make people flinch upon hearing his name a decade later Harry expected something more impressive. As it stands Voldemort was just pathetic at being a dark lord harry would know given his upbringing. So he takes it upon himself to educate this peon on exactly how this shit is done. Cause watching voldemort flail about Dark-Lording was so unprofessional it was just sad. Thus Harry issues Voldemort with a challenge. He would let Voldemort go and gather his followers and build his armies and Harry'd do the same(new followers for Jashin! Huzzah) they'd battle it out and prove who was better. In summery "I bet I could take over this Wizarding world before you can." I expect this harry would form alliances all over the place and use his vault to basically play the business and political sides of the wizarding world like a giant game of Monopoly.

C-Religion- Harry decided to convert as many witches and wizards to Jashinism as he can. Which given his original 'Savior' reputation upon his entry to the world may not be that difficult if he plays it right despite the old headmasters interference. One of Voldemorts many schemes almost kills one of Harry's potential converts . Harry is not pleased. Harry's followers belonged to him and voldemort destroyed his things which makes harry look bad. Those potential followers were his investments if he can't protect his investments then people are unlikely to invest in him. There for Voldemort must be taken out in order for him to stop messing with harry's interests.

Well this is just what I've come up with so far. If I can think of any more I'll edit this and if anyone has suggestions then put them in a review. Feel free to mix and match as you please.

To FP NO W. feel free to start writing even if you can only get up to the Hogwarts letter. I'm really looking forward to seeing what you come up with. Heck one chapter is enough as i'm flattered that would like to write my idea.


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